did you call me?

Just got a call from Maria, asking me if I called her. I didn't but was thinking of calling her the whole afternoon, i was in work mode so maybe never had the chance to call. I think this must be the second or third time that this happened to us, its freaky but also comforting to know that one has this kind of connection with a friend. Unbelievable as it may seem, human interaction sometimes scares the shit out of me. Even among my closest friends, I sometimes find myself unable to say the right words or respond spontaneously. Siguro those are my paranoid moments. I'm almost into panic mode, though I know that I still have a bit of time to do the prep work for the next scary endeavor, I also want to have enough time to prepare myself. Acknowledging the fact that any moment, I could again be thrown off my balance. So now, I want to take advantage of this rare time that I feel that I am stable.

Yesterday, I wrote a friend from England. A month-late of a reply telling her that I was recently been distracted with life. Yeah, it's been a while...but now, I am getting ready to come back to work and enjoy it. I enjoy staying home now after being out almost everyday for two weeks. I cherish the slow and easy day and early nights that I can catch up on sleep or catch up on some readings. Nakakatuwa that "life" can be so distracting that I cannot help but feel guilty that I'm not working hard enough. That I have it a little better than others but whine more than them.

The mornings and evenings are mild these days. This morning the sun shone brightly but the gentle cool breeze tempered it. You walk out of the house and even without anticipating anything to happen that day, you learn how to bear with it. You learn how to bear with uneventful boring days, and enjoy them.