head spinning, i literally threw by body blaack and blue on the floor last night. afraid of my own destructive powers, i hold on to the only post i find. these fits between our bodies are indeed too much to bear. i only ask for peace and the privacy of my past, no one of you has entitlement to the real beating of my heart. for it beats only for myself. for once, i give myself the chance to embrace my beaten body, excluding the 'love' and lust that we so easily fall into. as i withdraw deeper, reclaiming my heart, screams and cries for affection beckon but i turn with deaf ears.
right hand hurts from punching myself and banging on the floor, pleading for break. pleading for peace of mind. i let go of pain, hurt, betrayal, love and even hope so i can wake up each day and survive. to see that a future lies, a wide horizon waits to embrace my beaten yearning body and calm my crying soul. i only ask to be left alone to be and allowed the silence of my heart for it wishes not to speak but stay in the pause.
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