night falls and you are nowhere to be found

i believed i have passed the time of begging for love and attention. where devotion is channeled elsewhere but the viciousness of romance and intimacy. yet, i have led myself into the most risky and scariest path of giving in and believing once more that maybe there is such a thing as beautiful that many people have talked about. i thought i could be like the rest and have faith, living in rose-colored glasses. truly, coming down i face the months that passed as something special that i've never came across despite the many adventures i have imposed upon myself. now, those memories are fading away like a crumbling wallpaper, decayed by time and disillusion.
yesterday, we curated a country, a book and a fantastic celebrity event. our fantasies that evoke our disillusion in life, in truth, in false pretense of 'art.' in this country, illusion is necessary. and jail is a life sentence reduced to listening to only punk-rock music and watching walt disney. with one resident, we decide on which country we shall declare war upon. meanwhile, the appropriate way sunday was spent will be "'teaser'-i eat, drink, shit and at times fuck" collective. nothing makes sense, why bother?!