hysteria glamour

today you did again as you always do. i am thrown off that i know the deepest of your core and that my access to it is as closest as i wish it oculd ever be. my connection to the world of your privacy is so deep i dont think you'll even know. careless abandon let me in, and i wish to end up forgetting it as no love and affection lets me in. please know i am a forgetten past and let it be me. i am truly envious of your passion and how each day brings that to you. mine is nevertheless the comfort that allows me to be sane and safe. your passion was once mistaken for love. but what is this four letter manifesto but a comforting buffer from the cruelty of maturity and time. i have witnessed myself and everyone around me fall into resolve. nothing is as gratifying as self-worth in the end all you want is to be recognized. i am gone and may have never existed at all. goodbye please. i ask you to just let it be. thrown away, tucked away, obscure and forgotten that is what life has become. find your love and your peace even in pretend.