manifesting the moment

One of our teachers, a wonderful crazy Portuegese woman, taught us about manifesting the moment. It was the hardest task of digging very deep into oneself and acknowledge the emotions brewing inside the body. After this, you need to let it take over the body, thus the process of choreography becomes possible. During the past week, I have been giving myself this opportunity to reset and go back to nothing. While in this process, I cannot help but aspire for what I do not have. Aspire for the love of someone else, yet as Isa puts it both life and work has become mutually exclusive and this what makes it most difficult to move into a new zone. Inside the hollow space, I try to tune in to the voices that echo my real resolve. I haven't been back to the studio and maybe today I begin to map out a new inquiry or renew new ties with my body. Now, I must return to stories tucked away in my cabinet of souveniers. Some have been left out to gather dust, while some still retains their original luster, like precious gifts that we regularly touch and create bonds with. So I choose in this cabinet of curiosity and pain which shall determine my path.
I lie in bed with the unbearable weight of the person I choose to be with. Inside, my heart longs to be somewhere else. I resign and withdraw deep into my solitude. Pretending everything is alright. My closet if brimming and I long to be free from the clutter of my personal situation. How to move on and manifest this. The pain is exhausting but this is the task.
Chilly days have come to Manila, yesterday was 20 degrees and in Baguio was 9 degrees. That's almost winter, the world is changing indeed. Daunting...