blast from the past

what a blast from the past! The weekend that has come and caught me like an unannounced typhon overturning all that passes within its flight. Although, today I am still trying to get hold of pieces of me broken into unrelentless bursts of emotion, I am not as wrecked as I would usually end up like before. Hmm, maybe some things change and some things remain. Still, cynical of the world, I want to give other things a chance and see how I come out of them. Slowly, like release technique I am learning how to move efficiently through life by challenging my own life's cliche:the same as challenging the cliche of dance. works same way...

so, i take a new journey of discovering other places where dance and body resides and creates knowledge: developing a flexible pedagogy of survival. my current interest in dance is to find the conceptual, physical, dramaturgical and pedagogical realms that facilitate an uncontrived understanding of how the body moves into dancing. is it possible to eliminate preconceptions of our body and commit to a task or an idea, an image or color. how do we create meanings and let the narrative emerge from the relationships of our bodies between each other and in space? how does the sociology change by spatial manipulation, using communication conventions such as whispers, crying, laughing. smiling, shouting? how does dramaturg spill out from these mediated and unmediated means of reaching out?

While, I am still struggling with setting the material for my solo. I am seduced into creating a new dance, creating a group piece where the everyday situations are placed to become artificial adaptations of our grosteque condition. Should i move into this or commit to my single idea. Well, also there's the showcase that i think i need to do a new piece on: so maybe i need to do another solo: when the song just keeps on playing. but first i need to learn to sing because a madonna or cindi lauper song seems to be necessary for this new piece. 10 mins.

Yesterday, Red and I hit the field and threw a disk. Unhampered by rain, we braved through the muddy grounds only to realize that it was too messy so we settled for the flat concrete road. Haunted for almost a month now since Maria and I started our weekly sunday fitness/pyschiatric/cross-training/let's go get some girls and boys session (read: jogging), I have been fantasizing about playing frisbee. Hands still swollen from yesterday, I can't wait for next sunday. Its just like dancing, with clear set of task, like improvisation. We realized that more for its sports, frisbee potentially is another creative endeavor to aide in developing material and learning about the momentum of movement. inertia and potentiality, playing with this physical expectation offers new possibility of building material. Like doing release class, I struggled with letting go of my fears and expectation but to confront the moment as they come. allow the disk to land.

today, i am still trying to grasp the significance of bumping into the recesses of my memory as well as having to clarity to dismiss some as merely coincidental inside me I crave to overcome some habits and patterns of reacting and see what new doors will open and lead to...