this last day of july

waking up to the sound of rain pouring into the streets. wet and damp, there is only the rush of people hailing and waiting for the taxi that never comes. drenched. what are all these sounds around my body. how to be quiet and tune in? it seems to take forever to listen and tune in, when i finally get to that point my body gives up from the exhaustion. performing and not performing. going places and spaces that allow us to forget and let the unconscious flow into the body. a creature surviving its destiny to be lured into the lion den of the stage. it engulfs us, are we willing or unwilling victims? profound thoughts seem to just float around my body encircling it but never penetrating it. exhaustion bears itself on my shoulder. crouched like an old woman. what am i so afraid of? fear of losing everything. falling and emptying. i can only think of the chilly mornings that come nowadays and the well deserved slumber i look forward to in the evenings as well as the endless surfing, trying to look for something out there. inspire me please. i am a wasteland. empty and dry...the wasteland of my body seeks water to soothe my tired and tight joints. the sound of boiling water and frying that lingers in my left ear. why am i so obessed with shutting off? today is color green, wet moss green. on the lonely path looms the hundred watchful eyes. harsh hard stares. inpenetrable walls. i am trapped in my own boredom. life is a monotony of random symbols sometimes bursting with misadventures. its when we forget about who we are that i remember the freedom of being alive and having choices.